hope

Brokenhearted, Yet a Wholehearted Hope

~ philipamerson ~ 1 Comment

Brokenhearted, Yet a Wholehearted Hope

Brokenhearted. In prayer for those suffering the wildfires in Los Angeles area. So many friends there, great folks in wonderful neighborhoods now destroyed or threatened.

Sad to learn the lovely Altadena United Methodist Church building was destroyed. I think of friends in, and nearby, who must be suffering and facing great uncertainty. Altadena UMC is a place where my dear friends, Rev. Mark Trotter and Rev. Yvonne Boyd served in different eras over the years. They built and sustained a strong and welcoming congregation.

In Altadena, the Jet Propulsion Lab and many graceful parks, museums, and educational centers are nearby. It was a place where racial exclusion and redlining was exposed in the 1960s and for many decades has been rich in racially diverse neighborhoods. You see, this fire may be destroying more than homes — also lost is the experience of neighbors who shared gifts brought by differing cultures and life experiences.

Of course, Pasadena is close by – we think of friends there. At Huntington Library and Gardens, Fuller Seminary, several other congregations. There also is the California Pacific UMC conference headquarters.  Dear ones, we treasure, are facing threat in Pasadena… some have been put on alert to prepare to evacuate. We pray for them.

So many, now vulnerable areas, and friends at risk — Glendale, Hollywood, Santa Clarita and, of course, the Palisades. We commit to share our small financial support that can go for ALL those who suffer today.  We are proud to know that United Methodists have offered shelter and outreach to those facing this tragedy.  See: https://www.calpacumc.org/news/cal-pac-fire-updates-january-8-2025/

Other denominations, churches, mosques and synagogues also now offer spaces of refuge and care. In the midst of ongoing infernos, there is a broader and deeper expression of common humanity. Some reports of looters, but these pale in comparison to the expansive acts of neighborly care.

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And one other word… what can be said of the moral depravity of the incoming president? Isn’t he a looter of our commonweal? Aren’t his words robbing us of the chance to honor others and practice neighbor-love in a time of need, absent of ugly incrimination. I say “yes.” He is a looter of the common good.

He, who always presents himself as the greatest of victims, shows little or no empathy for those who are truly suffering. He blames, distorts, creates division and uses this tragedy to score political points. Why this perpetual need to harm? What inferno has burned across his soul and left this abyss that lacks humanity or humility? Is it that he is afraid of a tragedy taking away his place on center stage?

Surely there are many reasons for this tragedy… too little water storage? But there was also too much rain in recent years contributing to increased vegetation. Vegetation that turned into fuel over months of draught. Of course, there are questions of building such large communities in desert areas and diverting water away from natural flow. Ask the folks in Mexico about the trickle of the Colorado River that was once a wide and potent source of life and beauty. There are also profound questions about our national and international dependance on petroleum that contributes to changes in our climate.

In recent years, taking a cue from folks like Wendell Berry and Wes Jackson, I have sought to follow “a way of ignorance.” By this, they mean admitting there is so much we do not know, and MUCH to learn, as we journey ahead. We start with an awareness of much yet to be discovered. It keeps one honest and appropriately humble. Admitting, first, there is much to learn and to love. There is so much that is unknown about persons, communities and the natural world – and it also offers space for growth and discovery – space for delight. 

Sadly, I also see that some chose a differing “way of ignorance.” This one is rooted in fear, arrogance and denial. This is an ignorance based in fear and the need to control. It blocks new insights, transformation, unity and joy.  It persists in brokenness and grievance.  I pray for the incoming president today, that he might be healed of this way of acting and behaving.

Brokenhearted, yet I also will wholeheartedly give my energies, in the limited years I have remaining, to joining the good work of others, like my United Methodist friends, in encouraging our nation and world toward a better way. I will name the “looters of the common good,” persons like Donald Trump, as I give thanks to the millions of witnesses who offer care, hope and new discovery, even in the face of tragedy.

The Gifts Behind Door #1408

~ philipamerson ~ 6 Comments

The Gifts Behind Door #1408

It is a short, rather boring, walk from the elevator to our Chicago apartment. Twenty-three paces.  We rarely meet anyone in the hallway.  Nor is there anything particularly unusual about the tan walls and dark carpet.

It is this very ordinariness that makes what sometimes happens in the hallway so remarkable.  The first time it occurred I was rushing to bring in groceries.  I noticed the music — “what fine music,” I thought.  It was a piano sonata, probably on the radio or a recording.  Nice.

Shortly afterward, I heard the music behind the door again.  Chopin, I thought… and just then, the piano music abruptly stopped, then began again a few measures earlier. 

This wasn’t a recording at all!  There was an actual pianist — and a talented one at that — practicing in #1408.  It was my special gift, each time I walked past and listened to the artist at practice.  I suspect she didn’t know she was gifting me or any of the others of us who passed by. 

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The Gifts Behind Door #1408

Then one afternoon, a violin was added to the piano.  On another occasion there was a flute.  Then I noticed a few times when the pianist wasn’t as accomplished. 

[I am both slow-witted and a bit dull, you see, because it took me weeks to understand that this was the apartment of a music teacher.  Of course, of course, there is a college of music nearby our apartment.  Students, with differing skills and who play various instruments were coming for lessons.] 

On one occasion, there was such a marvelous combination of violin and piano that I confess I stood in the hallway and luxuriated at the fine, hidden away, performance for several minutes.  So exceptional were the musical gifts being practiced behind the door they demanded my slowing down and listening. That is when I first met one of my neighbors.  A young woman.  We exchanged greetings.  She smiled, and stood with me for a moment, listening.  “Isn’t this wonderful” she said as she moved on to her apartment. 

The doorway to #1408 offers me a valuable lesson in a world chock-full of anonymous, mundane interactions.  All around — just on the other side of this anonymity, this troubling news and fear-filled analysis — there is often beauty that I otherwise tend to miss.  There is teaching and learning that is going on.  There are glorious gifts waiting to be heard, to be seen, to be understood or simply appreciated.  Sometimes the gift is offered as a solo, sometimes it is more than one who is sharing.

Then it happened, one afternoon, I met her, the pianist, the teacher. 

We were leaving our apartments at the same time.  She was almost as I had imagined her to be.  Petite, handsome, she was moving carefully to close her door, a violin case in her hand.  When I told her how I appreciated the music emanating from her apartment, she seemed surprised, a little worried.  “I hope my music isn’t bothering you,” she said.  “Bothering?” I reacted.  “Not at all!  Every time I leave the elevator on the 14th floor, I hope you will be playing.  It is the best part of returning.”

I still don’t know her name — this teacher, this beauty maker.  That will be remedied one day soon, I will make certain to learn more at the right time.  For now, even though we are still moving in anonymous worlds, I receive her gift as a reminder that my senses are often too dull to receive other offerings.

What gifts around us do we miss each day?  What gifts might we be sharing that we are unaware of at the time?  Where are there human and transcendent notes of joy and hope that are muted by the “normal.”

I find that by passing my neighbor’s apartment, even when there is no music, I am reminded to consider such questions — and I am able to approach my day with an anticipation of the gifts all around that I often otherwise miss.

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(Our primary residence is in Bloomington, Indiana: we also keep an apartment in Chicago.  We love both cities and because we have a couple of grandsons in Chicago, well…)

Rim Walking to the Eternal

~ philipamerson

Rim Walking to the Eternal

Almost autumn; rouge-tinged leaves hint that a soon-to-arrive-change is near.  Rotund tomatoes have captured a summer filled with both promise and tragedy.  It is time… to remember, to move on.

Saturday morning and a visit to our hometown Farmers’ Market.  A much-needed respite, today’s early gifts.

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Farmers Market, Bloomington, September 16, 2017

Our overripe national drama could cause one to despair, to wonder if a return to normal can be gained, or regained. 

From near and far are images of tragedy… a nursing home in Hollywood Hills, Florida, opioid overdoses down the street, a denuded Virgin Island paradise, mud, posturing politicians, mold, South Texas languishing, St. Louis marching in step with decades of accumulated grievance.  Politicians preen, speak sly words and pose for photo-op-displays-of-compassion.  These televised images vie for attention alongside heartless racist-tinged rhetoric.

Will our national identity be reduced to cheap reality television episodes?  Are we prisoners to shallow, disjointed actions and pathetic promises? “Everyone will be happy”!?  Is this reality?  Fake becomes real, while the real, the true, is declared fake.  Don’t lose your balance fellow pilgrims-of-hope.

Even here, especially here, there is truth… there is music, poetry and beauty.   So much fine produce at the market, stacked high, even okra (mostly for my spouse) and summers-end sweet corn (mostly for me).  The community band plays sweet summers-end music.  Abide With Me as it tunes up for the morning.  Tune to the “A.”  Some things do remind one of stability.  Abide…

 

Sweet corn, ripe tomatoes, sweet music and poetry abide.  Justice will prevail.  Our belief in respect and decency will survive this cruel passage.  It is clear in the acts of human compassion evidenced in the places of unimaginable destruction.  From St. Johns, a family shares space under their tarpaulin.  One visits a nearby hospital — just a brief word, a smile and a prayer.  We applaud as early response teams arrive in Texas and Florida, and ahead of them are thousands-upon-thousands of cleaning kits, (flood buckets), arriving along with a piece of our hearts.

How will we know the way?  What direction and pace shall we travel?  Poetry directs us beyond the limits of here and now.  Friend Walter Wangerin, Jr. calls our name:

The Wanderer*

I am the World-Rim-Walker.

I tread the sheer crags

Where night and daylight

Contour one other.

So we journey ahead as Rim Walkers toward the Eternal.  Between the tragedy and treat offered in the daily news cycles and our truest hope found in the dignity of human beings at their best.  Here and there… we move forward.

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Bloomington Farmers Market

These are our compass points.  Smiles and greetings.  New friends met and old friends greeted.  Fresh eggs, ripe tomatoes, kale and spinach now join honey, music and poetry to point to our pathway ahead.  We journey together fellow Rim Walkers. 

May your late summer be filled with laughter, joy and the reminders of taken-for-granted beauty all around.  Together let us continue to walk in ways that rebut and rebuke the vapid efforts to divert us from the ways of our truest hope.

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*Poem The Wanderer is from “The Absolute, Relatively Inaccessible” by Walter Wangerin, Jr., Eugene, Oregon, Cascade Books, 2017.